WITH THIS IN MIND -- Here is the criteria for the Dr. Filth Fake Ass Top 10 outlined over a year ago
on another website, The Rev. Wayne Coomers' too infrequently updated Church of Holy Rock and Roll.

Some rules (acting as the first top 10 list):
1. Dr. Filth's Fake Ass Top Ten List Is Not A CONSUMER GUIDE so much as it is maybe an alert to your subliminable radar -- Dr. Filth as always advises you to keep your consumer impulses in check and obtain no more music than you can reasonably absorb.
2. Dr. Filth's Fake Ass Top Ten List is only authoritative in that the Doctor has had his ear to the ground for a few years now. It is not definitive. In reportorial cases only the "vibe" may be true.
3. Dr. Filth reports and describes from a position of personal bias and finely ingrained hallucination that makes the items in his list significant to him -- you may find his impressions flip, unimportant, or inaccurate. SHOULD THIS HAPPEN feel free to write Dr. Filth a letter (or post on the message board) telling him how badly he messed up, how poorly composed and balanced and lengthy his sentences are, and how they reflect neither sense of humor nor any actual sense of the music "described" in his convoluted prose . . . but be aware that your response reflects your own personal biases and finely ingrained hallucinations and like Dr. Filth's own babbling nonsense is fodder for further forum.
4. Dr. Filth is not a licensed psychiatrist, nor physician, nor legal advisor. Dr. Filth does not have a PhD.
5. Dr. Filth does more harm than good.
6. The contents on Dr. Filth's list are not necessarily new - released this week, a month ago, or 80 years ago, it's all new to me. If something on Dr. Filth's list strikes you as extremely old news, please feel superior to Dr. Filth for a few moments and leave it at that.
7. Dr. Filth cannot guarantee that his columns will appear regularly. He managed to pull off a weekly column for about four or five months last year, but got lazy because he wasn't getting paid (nobody's fault but his). If you want to get regular Dr. Filth Updates I suggest you click that blue link that says "Dr. Filth Updates". Please put "mailing list" in the header. Or better yet, "subscribe" to whizzkid1, get special benefits and help to enable a lifestyle!
8. Like Alan Freed, Dr. Filth will take payola but will only air your record if it is good.
9. Dr. Filth will sometimes make crap up in order to have a "number nine".
10. Dr. Filth is as always available to counsel you in your moments of rock and roll crisis, help you overcome bad rock and roll habits, or simply adjust your own complexes re: your obsession(s) with rock and roll specific/general. He can also provide advice on things as varied as which album to get from a particular artist/genre to how to sell used CDs at a record store without apologizing to the buyer for your poor taste. As previously stated, this can happen via private e-mail or on la Message Board.

Originally appeared on Rev. Coomers Church of Holy Rock & Roll Website. Reprinted w/assumed permission.

Check back July 1 for the first Dr. Filth Fake Ass Top 10 of 2003 and July 15 (god willing) for a Steve
Malkmus Interview! Get Reminded via e-mail! More SPAM for YOU!

"If you don't shop at whizz, you don't know what music is!"

- The Revelators